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The O&P website and blog, forums, and wiki are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings. lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.

Acceptance

Posted by lili on Thu 2 Nov 00, 10:26 PM

I always believed that when it happened to me it would be as so many others describe. Something significant would happen, something BIG! Something that would leave me sobbing and begging at the feet of my Master. Truely a day to remember. It happened to me, but not like this, not how I expected and not as others describe.

I knew it, felt it after being away from him for a week, but I don't think this is when it really happened. I think this is when it bubbled to the surface of my consiousness, all those thoughts, those feelings that I wanted so badly, that we have worked towards since the beginning of our relationship.

Something changed inside me and I don't know exactly when or even exactly how it happened, but that was part of how I knew. I stopped questioning why and accepted that I simply am.

Now when he askes "What are you?" I say "Your slave Master" only now, instead of it being a means to internalise my status, it is simply a statement of fact.

Now if he chains my ankles to beat the soles of my feet I can bear the pain, not because I need to get to that place (that space in my head where the pain stops). Now I can hold out my feet and bear the pain because it pleases him to beat me, and I belong to him. I stopped questioning why and accepted that I simply am.

Edited Fri 3 Nov 00, 3:23 PM by lili

 
 
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