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The O&P website and blog, forums, and wiki are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings. lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.

About that gift.....

Posted by lili on Sat 25 Nov 00, 3:15 PM

"Submission is a gift" is one of those lovely slogans we see bandied about all over the internet [at least a good portion of the D/s sites anyway]. It sounds nice and as submissives we like it because it gives us a sense of importance. It also makes us feel less vulnerable because it reminds us [and the dominant population] that this "gift" can just as quickly be withdrawn.

This may, indeed, be true in some kinds of limited D/s relationship but not in an ownership based relationship. In ownership based relationships submission is, simply, an **involuntary response to domination**.

In a Master-slave relationship [where restrictions imposed by the Master has resulting reactance in the slave] there are times when the slave will fight hard not to submit to the will of the Master despite her submitting being the very thing she needs the most. Infact in the kind of relationships which involve internal enslavement most of the standard rules and common slogans don't apply.

I know this was hard for me to come to terms with. First of all I had to let go of the vanilla rules I was taught as a child, then I had to let go of the BDSM rules and slogans I was taught when I first found D/s.

It's a bit like "Alice through the looking glass" until you get used to it. Welcome to wonderland! ;)

Edited Tue 28 Nov 00, 10:42 AM by lili

 
 
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