O&P website and blog,
are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay
online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings.
lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.
Society of 2
Posted by lili on Fri 5 Jan 01, 10:00 PM
Today I unsubscribed from most of the mailing lists I
used to read and sometimes participate in.
I finally came to the conclusion that they are,
basically, unproductive and extremely unhelpful.
I always joined in the hope of finding people and
discussing in a productive way how things can and
sometimes actually are for people interested or
actually living this kind of relationship.
I found very little of that. What I did find, however,
was a hard core of people who use mailing lists as some
kind of competition. They aren't interested in
discussion or growth they are interested in only one
thing, they seek approval.
I am not sure why they need it, or even why they choose
mailing lists as a place to seek it, but they are easy
They post profusely and they are sweetness itself to
everyone who they can impress with their spiel, only
their spiel is more often than not picked up from a
variety of sources [usually a combination of statements
they have seen posted to other lists] and you can rest
assured they are members of a vast amount of lists.
They are easy to spot because as soon as you question
them about anything they state as fact they become
extremely defensive, or worse, aggressive [but rest
assured you will never get an answer to your question.]
These people know exactly how to play an audience, they
make themselves popular because they avoid the real
issues and stick to the "you are whatever you say you
are" what you tend not to notice at first is the "but
it's not as good as me" that follows it soon after.
I know I do not handle this well, the open and obvious
lack of compassion and understanding of people makes me
feel hurt and angry.
They use the weaknesses of others to prove
their "subbier than thou" attitudes without a second
thought for anybodies story. Can anyone know the story
of another so well through a mailing list?
There are less than 5 mailing lists I have found that
have any consistant and useful posts, and I do know,
myself, how difficult it can be to balance the
usefulness of a mailing list with the welcoming
attitude that will encourage people to talk openly and
honestly [warts and all] without someone being tempted
to use it as an opportunity to show how much more
worthy and real they actually are.
How many times have I heard "that may be Ok
for you....?" as an opening line to such posts.
Well, I live a real relationship, warts and all. I have
times when I struggle with things and I have times when
I cry because I feel hurt or scared, and, yes,
sometimes I do feel angry.
There are also times when I am so happy I have to pinch
myself. I wake up in the morning thanking my
lucky stars that I am me more mornings than I do not.
Tanos questioned the worth of mailing lists v websites
a long time back, I wish now I had taken that to heart,
I could have avoided being reminded of how
uncompassionate and self motivated some people can
The world out there can be a wicked place, I would much
prefer to live in a safe society, and guess what? I do,
I live in a society of 2.
Edited Sat 6 Jan 01, 1:14 PM by lili