O&P website and blog,
are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay
online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings.
lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.
When less really is more...
Posted by lili on Tue 20 Feb 01, 9:28 PM
I have heard many submissives say that they had
submissive tendencies from a very early age and I know
that I experience submissive responses to situations
not just dominant personalities, so is
submissiveness exclusively linked to sexuality and/or a
dominant? Is it induced only in a D/s context?
....and what is this feeling of submissiveness anyway?
This weekend Tanos took me up into the Yorkshire dales.
We stood at the edge of a sheer drop and looked out.
I could see for miles, right to the horizon.
I looked out to the horizon and up to the sky and I
looked down at the rocks I was standing on. I could see
the way a great river had carved out patterns in the
rocks, centuries ago.
It gave me a feeling very like submissiveness. A sense
of small, insignificance in the face of such vastness.
Even the vastness of time and how, compared to those
rocks my lifetime was just a speck. It was a wonderful,
secure, peaceful feeling that made me feel incredably
humble and overwhelmingly vulnerable.
A wonderful sense of disappearing, that isn't in the
slightest bit negative. The feeling that nothing really
matters because everything else is so very "big".
Sometimes I wonder if it's that feeling, that
vulnerability, that makes some people so fearful of
letting go, after all, if the Master has the ability
to not just induce, but control, your submissive
responses to him, then he
also has the ability to make you feel incredably
vulnerable in his presence.
As to sex, well yes, serving Tanos turns me on, infact
I eroticise many of the mundane chores I do because I
am serving him by doing them.
Of course the intimacy of sexual activity is wonderful,
and, for me, dominance triggers arousal as much as it
At the beginning of our relationship sexuality was very
much at the forefront of my mind, I remember being
turned on almost all of the time, often just at the
thought of him, those butterflies in my stomach, not
wanting to eat, not wanting to sleep, what fun!....
but I don't believe that is something exclusive to M/s
or even D/s its something that happens in any
new relationship, most likely because it is the easiest
and most obvious way to be intimate with someone.
As time went on, those things changed and its now that
I really realise how important an M/s relationship is
to me because with M/s the intimacy is not
lost, it is developed [so long as you do the work] it
becomes fundemental to the nature of the relationship
and Tanos is intimate with my mind as well as my body.
After a while other things emerge, things like loving,
adoration, respect, trust, support and protection. I
get peace from other things like sharing a
history, sharing a sense of humour, building our lives
around one another and having someone who knows me more
intimately, and in every way it is possible to know a
person [not just sexually.]
I would love to be proved wrong, but I really don't
know of any relationships that have lasted the course
based purely on sexual intimacy.
Sex can be such a big driving force in any
relationship, particularly in the beginning, but its
just one corner of something which has the potential to
be so much more.
I can't help wondering how long things would last, or
thinking how sad it would be, if sex was really the
only thing we shared..
Edited Tue 20 Feb 01, 9:41 PM by lili