O&P website and blog,
are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay
online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings.
lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.
Little children or a little child-like?
Posted by lili on Sun 27 May 01, 10:59 AM
Not too long ago Tanos came across a message posted
on a mailing list. He passed it on to me. I read it and
thought it was absolutely wonderful. It was posted with
the title "A submissive's message to a Dominant." It
1. Don't spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not
to have all I ask for. I'm only testing you.
2. Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it, it
makes me feel secure.
3. Don't let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you
to detect them in a early stage.
4. Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes
me behave stupidly "big".
5. Don't correct me in front of people, if you can help
it. I'll take much more notice if you talk quietly
with me in private.
6. Don't make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It
upsets my sense of values.
7. Don't protect me from consequences. I need to learn
the painful way sometimes.
8. Don't be too upset when I say "I hate you".
Sometimes it isn't you I hate but your power to thwart
9. Don't take too much notice of my ailments. Sometimes
they get me attention I don't need.
10. Don't nag. If you do, I shall have to protect
myself by being deaf.
11. Don't forget that I cannot explain myself as well
as I should like. That's why I am not always accurate.
12. Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you do
you'll find that I stop asking you and seek my
13. Don't be inconsistant. That completely confuses me
and makes me loose faith in you.
14. Don't tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly
real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to
15. Don't ever suggest that you are perfect or
infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I
discover that you are neither.
16. Don't ever think that it is beneath your dignity to
apologize to me. An honest apology makes me suprisingly
warm towards you.
17. Don't forget I love experimenting. I couldn't get
along without it, so please put up with it.
18. Don't forget how quickly I am growing up. It must
be difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please
19. Don't forget that I don't thrive without lots of
love and understanding but I don't need to tell you
that do I?
20. Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you.
Interestingly enough it's origin is not in the D/s
world at all. A little digging came up with Thomas C.
Ritt, Jr as the author for the Arizona ACLD Newsletter
right back in December 1975 and it's original title
was "A message from a child to a parent".
So what does this mean? Are we all just little girls
wanting a good "father-figure"?
Could it be true that in order to achieve M/s a
Dominant needs to parent a grown child?
Personally I believe some of the answers to those
questions lie in Berne's description of the three ego
states: Parent-Adult-Child used in the process
of transactional analysis [You can find a link
to "Games people play" by Eric Berne through Amazon at
perhaps I will leave a fuller exploration for my
homepage, since it is turning out to be far lengthier
than I expected nor intended it to be.
For now, I hope you enjoy the memo as it is, even more
so with a twist!
NB I did write that essay..and I did put it onto my
Edited Tue 6 Nov 01, 7:29 AM by lili