O&P website and blog,
are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay
online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings.
lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.
lianne: on finances
Posted by lili on Mon 5 Nov 01, 7:50 PM
"One of the hardest things about being a slave is
loosing financial independance" - True or false?
The old lianne, without a doubt, would have
You see I don't believe I did too bad a job of managing
my own finances in the past. Well, my bank account
exceeded my overdraft (at least my income always
seemed to expand at precisely the same rate as my
My bills were always paid before they went red and
though I was never self disciplined enough to deny
impulsive purchases I was self disciplined enough to
refuse the offer of credit and store cards.
I guess, just like most things in my life, I liked
things ordered and filed away in their appropriate
places. I was [and still am] the kind of person that
kept up to date spread sheets of all my finances, not
that it ever influenced what and how much I spent, it
just meant that I could account for every last penny
and, in a funny way, that made everything OK in my book.
Today, without a doubt, I would say "False" because,
when it happened, I found that I was still expected to
do all the things I like doing best and, not so
suprisingly, the things Tanos wanted control of were
the very things that always felt like monetary burdens
to me. I suppose, in many ways, I should have expected
that, since so much of what we are makes us compatible
Anyway, I got to keep the organising and filing and
still my job to make the telephone calls and write the
letters needed to organise utilities etc. I'm the one
who fills in the forms and mandates but Tanos is the
one who has to sign them.
It's true that both our wages are paid into his account
now, but it is also true that all the bills get paid
from the same account (his.)
He gets to make the final decision on what we buy, but
then, his is the only name that appears on all our
I do have a current account in my name for the times he
is away on business but he is the one who has to pay
money into it to keep it in credit. In that way I still
have to account for exactly how much I have spent, and,
should he want to know, exactly what I spent it on,
item by item.
On the whole, Tanos doesn't want the hassle of the
mundane "pen pushing" chores. He likes that I can do
all those things and leave him free to do the things he
wants to do. Equally he likes that I can
supply financial information as and when he asks. In
many ways its like being his personal secretary, I know
what's going on, its my job to keep him informed, but
he is the one who makes the decisions, and that suits
me more than I ever believed it would.
I know that Tanos was pretty organised before we met,
but I like to think things are easier for him because
of my service.
He gets to make the decisions autonomously and I am
allowed to keep my spreadsheets (and he tells me that
makes him happy.)
Now I understand that I was never really afraid of
loosing control of my finances, what really made me
afraid was the thought of being kept in the dark about
everything. It's as though, for me, it doesn't matter
what the truth is, so long as the truth is what I am
Edited Tue 6 Nov 01, 7:15 AM by lili