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The O&P website and blog, forums, and wiki are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings. lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.

A beginners guide to "asking politely"

Posted by lili on Sun 18 May 03, 8:47 PM

i suppose after 3 years i should hardly be considered a beginner. So why do i find it so hard to beg when everyone else seems able to drop to their knees and beg in such a pleasing manner that i just feel a complete novice.

Having tried the age old "telepathy" method and been left frustrated by my lack of success (why doesn't he just know what i want?) i soon moved on to "if i ask he could say no" - so i save myself the humiliation of a clumsy attempt at begging by simply not asking at all! (as you can probably imagine this doesn't work too well either). Finally two things dawned on me: The first was that i obviously wasn't a natural so i'd have to put in a good deal of practice. Secondly - that "asking politely" always felt far easier to do (even though to the untrained observer it looked and sounded exactly like begging) so i started my begging practice with "asking politely".

Heres a few things i learned along the way:

When "asking politely" :

Requests seem to be received better when addressed in the general direction of the dominant knee. "Would like" and "May i" are good and "really need" and "must have" are not so good (there is too much of a temptation to prove otherwise).

Ask for a convenient time to "politely ask" for a big request and stick to it (in other words don't use "asking politely" for a convenient time as a platform to launch straight in with your request - it's not polite!)

You CAN over do "cute"

Prepare yourself for accepting rejection respectfully. If the answer is "no" then you are going to be disappointed - so why not save yourself the embarrassment of having to apologise for disrespectful behaviour (flouncing or pouting is only a quick fix to frustration).

Pushing for a decision is far more likely to turn "i'll think about it" into "no" than "yes".

Don't struggle too much with "asking politely" it might not get you all the things you would like but it will definately put a smile on an important face (and when he's smiling.... well..... do i need to say anymore?)

Edited Mon 19 May 03, 10:27 PM by lili

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