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The O&P website and blog, forums, and wiki are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings. lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.

The girl who has everything?

Posted by lili on Tue 30 Nov 04, 9:12 PM

Well - at the risk of totally jinxing myself i've decided to write this weblog anyway - and to hell with it!

So who is the girl who has everything you ask? (or maybe you don't - but i'm going to tell you anyway) well it's me of course, or at least that's the way it seems to me right now, because everything seems to be, well, "right" with my world.

Finally i feel at peace with my life, my submission, my masochism, my bisexuality and, yes, at peace with my "top" side. They don't stress me out as they once did - when i was foolishly trying hard to come to terms with them on someone elses terms. Finally they just are and i like that they just are. Infact, quite frankly, i wouldn't want to be any other way (and societies "norms" can just get over it!). i am a multi-faceted being, and because of that i've met some pretty amazing people, done some pretty fantastic things and shared some wonderfully enlightening moments.

The past four and a half years have seen me growing in confidence, growning in maturity and, well, simply growing. All at once i feel all grown up and, yes, it is wonderful to be me. i've found peace in my own spirituality and for the first time in my life have finally found myself living in the present, living inside myself, no longer looking longingly to the future or coveting the life of someone else.

i don't know if it will last, this peaceful euphoria, but it doesn't matter. i feel honoured to have experienced it, i feel grateful for the peace it has brought and i will be eternally grateful to those who have helped to bring such a wealth of spirit into my life.

lili x

Edited Tue 30 Nov 04, 9:52 PM by lili

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