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The O&P website and blog, forums, and wiki are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings. lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.

A thinking sub's view

Posted by lili on Sat 15 Jan 05, 8:28 PM

At the risk of being "grammatically" incorrect (or should that be "politically" incorrect?) i'm going to start my weblog off with a question: How does not wanting to make decisions translate into not wanting to think for oneself?

Personally i have an extremely high opinion of Dominants capable of taking unilateral decisions in their relationships but perhaps that's because, in my experience, they are invariably intelligent enough to gather all the evidence they require prior to taking that decision (yes, even if that means seeking out and hearing the opinions of their "doormats" should they so choose)!

Oh, and on the subject of being a doormat: i am more than capable of articulating my thoughts, feelings and desires without it being at odds with my desire to be controlled, does that make me un-intelligent? Worse still - i took a conscious decision to seek out a relationship in which my owner would take unilateral decisions on his and my behalf (doormat?) and it was, undoubtably, the most intelligent decision i've ever made in my life. Why on earth would i want to keep a Dom on his toes (i'd much rather spend my time kissing them) and quite frankly if i wanted a balanced relationship then i'd have stayed vanilla (thank you very much).

Some of the most intelligent conversations i've ever had have been with dominant men who are the decision makers in their relationships. Without exception they hold well thought out opinions and their theories are grounded in facts (not fantasy). They actively seek out feedback and information from whatever sources they choose because they truly understand that knowledge is power. Finally and perhaps most importantly, they accept that with power comes responsibility and take full responsibility for the decisions that they make. In my book that takes guts, intelligence and a tremendous amount of self confidence (no "sad numpties" there then).

Personally i find statements which imply that the constraints of my relationship means that i must have low self esteem ill thought out and patronising. They do no favours for the submissive men and women who actively seek out asymetric power relationships because they tell us, once again, that we all must be doormats to do so.

lili


Edited Sun 16 Jan 05, 7:30 AM by lili

 
 
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