O&P website and blog,
are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay
online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings.
lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.
A thinking sub's view
Posted by lili on Sat 15 Jan 05, 8:28 PM
At the risk of being "grammatically" incorrect (or
should that be "politically" incorrect?) i'm going to
start my weblog off with a question:
How does not wanting to make decisions translate into
not wanting to think for oneself?
Personally i have an extremely high opinion of Dominants
capable of taking unilateral decisions in their
relationships but perhaps that's because, in my
experience, they are invariably intelligent enough to
gather all the evidence they require prior to taking
that decision (yes, even if that means seeking out and
hearing the opinions of their "doormats" should they
Oh, and on the subject of being a doormat:
i am more than capable of articulating my thoughts,
feelings and desires without it being at odds with my
desire to be controlled, does that make me un-intelligent?
Worse still - i took a conscious decision to seek out a
relationship in which my owner would take unilateral
decisions on his and my behalf (doormat?) and it was,
undoubtably, the most intelligent decision i've ever
made in my life.
Why on earth would i want to keep a Dom on his toes (i'd
much rather spend my time kissing them) and quite
frankly if i wanted a balanced relationship then i'd
have stayed vanilla (thank you very much).
Some of the most intelligent conversations i've ever had
have been with dominant men who are the decision makers
in their relationships. Without exception they hold well
thought out opinions and their theories are grounded in
facts (not fantasy). They actively seek out feedback and
information from whatever sources they choose because
they truly understand that knowledge is power. Finally
and perhaps most importantly, they accept that with
power comes responsibility and take full responsibility
for the decisions that they make. In my book that takes
guts, intelligence and a tremendous amount of self
confidence (no "sad numpties" there then).
Personally i find statements which imply that the
constraints of my relationship means that i must have
low self esteem ill thought out and patronising. They do
no favours for the submissive men and women who actively
seek out asymetric power relationships because they tell
us, once again, that we all must be doormats to do so.
Edited Sun 16 Jan 05, 7:30 AM by lili