O&P website and blog,
are where most of my new writing on M/s appears. The IE website will stay
online indefinitely to host the IE Essays and lili's writings.
lili and I pursued our M/s relationship from 2000 to 2008, and lili has kindly given her permission for these essays and posts to remain here, in the hope that submissives and slaves will continue to be helped and inspired by them.
Zentai-ism and the loss of egocentric emotion
Posted by lili on Sun 2 Oct 05, 6:27 PM
Sometime i find humility hard, humiliation even harder.
By humiliation i do not mean the verbal humiliation brought about through name calling (i have never been required to endure that.) Nor the embarrassing humiliation of a more physical nature (though i have, on occasions, been required to do that! )
The humiliation i'm refering to probably wouldn't be seen as humiliating by many people. It isn't something that i always feel, and it isn't brought about by any one specific act or demand. Sometimes, i suspect, it has more to do with my emotional state and my occasional "egocentricity". At these times i struggle to attain the hightened level of humility such situations demand.
Perhaps not suprisingly at such times i find hoods and blindfolds helpful, particularly in helping me shift my state of mind from egocentric to humble. Perhaps not suprising because i often use a similar technique (by closing my eyes or darkening a room) when i am meditating or visualising.
Having explained all of this i'll get to the real issue at hand - Zentai-ism
OK, so it isn't actually an "ism" but maybe it really should be in my opinion at least
For those of you who still don't know what the heck i'm on about - i'm talking about Zentai suits (that's me in the picture wearing my first one - and it's amazing!)
Not only did it knock me straight into a "me but not me" state of mind but my emotional state slipped almost instantly into one of humility, so much so that the first time i wore it i didn't even speak.
Being transformed into a "faceless object" is something i feared i would find extremely difficult (the face, afterall, embodies so much of the person and personality) but it was not at all unpleasant, infact i found it almost therapeutic, To become something simple, almost 2 dimensional, without face, without words, without concerns, fears or emotions was a wonderful experience.
It may not be for everyone, but i'd certainly recommend trying one, particularly if you, like me, sometimes struggle with egocentricity when humility is much prefered.
(Its also a great way to wear a "hood" and yet still be able to see, hear and breathe normally.)
Edited Fri 17 Feb 06, 7:39 AM by lili